May 2026

When couples sit down in my San Diego office, I often hear: “He shuts down whenever emotions come up.” “I can tell something is wrong, but he says he’s fine.” “I feel like I’m in this relationship alone emotionally.” Most of the time, he isn’t uncaring. He’s emotionally avoidant. From a Relational Life Therapy (RLT) […]

When clients walk into my office for couples counseling in San Diego, CA, I see a familiar pattern: One partner says, “Why won’t you just talk to me? Show me you care.” The other thinks, “No matter what I say, it’s wrong. I just want this to stop.” This is the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic. One partner pushes

When couples come into my San Diego office, I often hear: “The second I bring something up, he gets defensive.” “We end up fighting about his reaction instead of the actual issue.” In Gottman Method Couples Therapy, defensiveness is one of the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” that predict serious relationship distress. It’s painful, but it’s also

When couples arrive at my San Diego office and sit down on the couch, I often hear some version of the same frustrated complaints: “He’s always trying to fix me instead of just listening.” “She gets upset that I’m trying to help. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong.” Underneath those complaints is a powerful