Author name: Jordan Zipkin

Relational Jiu Jitsu is all about sliding underneath the surface of a poorly delivered bid for connection to capture what’s most meaningful in the bid. Rather than fighting fire with fire, this is all about seeing the punches and maneuvering gracefully to the side of them.

We can either turn toward, turn way, or turn against. Our relationship future rests predominantly on which of these 3 doors we walk through and how often we choose to walk through them.

Ultimately, raising a child effectively often means putting ourselves aside. We have to do our best to consistently present as our best versions of ourselves as individuals and as partners so that our child has his/her best chance of developing in the healthiest ways. Every moment matters and your child is always watching and absorbing information, even when you might feel s/he is not.

Shame is one unfortunate feeling that often appears in couples with a low desire partner. The low desire partner can often suffer from feeling as though there is something terribly wrong with him/her. This partner might incorrectly believe that this lack of sexual interest must mean s/he does not like, love, and/or respect his/her partner anymore.

Also, part of your value and source of happiness may be missing without sex. Perhaps, as a man or woman, it used to bring you tremendous joy to sexually please your partner, and now that that is missing, you are, to some extent, less joyful, satisfied, and happy. For men, in particular, this can be even more potently painful, as their value is often linked to pleasing their partner sexually. So, with that out of the equation, it can further add to pain linked to a perceived lack of masculinity/manhood and worth.