Relational Jiu Jitsu is all about sliding underneath the surface of a poorly delivered bid for connection to capture what’s most meaningful in the bid. Rather than fighting fire with fire, this is all about seeing the punches and maneuvering gracefully to the side of them.
We can either turn toward, turn way, or turn against. Our relationship future rests predominantly on which of these 3 doors we walk through and how often we choose to walk through them.
Turning Toward: The Single Biggest Predictor of Relationship Happiness and Stability Read More »
Ultimately, raising a child effectively often means putting ourselves aside. We have to do our best to consistently present as our best versions of ourselves as individuals and as partners so that our child has his/her best chance of developing in the healthiest ways. Every moment matters and your child is always watching and absorbing information, even when you might feel s/he is not.
One Exciting Strategy to Rescue a Failing Relationship with a Couple Who Have Children Read More »
Shame is one unfortunate feeling that often appears in couples with a low desire partner. The low desire partner can often suffer from feeling as though there is something terribly wrong with him/her. This partner might incorrectly believe that this lack of sexual interest must mean s/he does not like, love, and/or respect his/her partner anymore.
Why is Sex Unsatisfying in My Relationship? Read More »
Also, part of your value and source of happiness may be missing without sex. Perhaps, as a man or woman, it used to bring you tremendous joy to sexually please your partner, and now that that is missing, you are, to some extent, less joyful, satisfied, and happy. For men, in particular, this can be even more potently painful, as their value is often linked to pleasing their partner sexually. So, with that out of the equation, it can further add to pain linked to a perceived lack of masculinity/manhood and worth.
My Partner and I Aren’t Having Sex. Do We Really Need to Fix This? Read More »
In this country in particular, another message that often bombards us all from birth is the idea that our negative emotions are bad. Not only is this incredibly untrue, but when we believe this, it directly contributes to procrastination. If we aren’t supposed to feel distressed, worried, fearful, overwhelmed, guilty, shameful, irritated, and dread, just to name a few common ones related to procrastination, then it will be quite the challenge to begin working on a task where some or all these emotions burst up to the surface.
How to Help an Irrational Person with Tremendous Fear Read More »
In this country in particular, another message that often bombards us all from birth is the idea that our negative emotions are bad. Not only is this incredibly untrue, but when we believe this, it directly contributes to procrastination. If we aren’t supposed to feel distressed, worried, fearful, overwhelmed, guilty, shameful, irritated, and dread, just to name a few common ones related to procrastination, then it will be quite the challenge to begin working on a task where some or all these emotions burst up to the surface.
Why Do I Procrastinate and What Can I Do About It? Read More »
Another one of the most critical and common contributors to an anxiety condition is growing up in an environment that exposes one to it in a significant way. Significant can take the form of one or several events that affected you strongly and/or a continuous and consistent exposure to anxious conditions. For instance, perhaps you regularly witnessed mom or dad express specific fears and worries about a variety of topics. When you consider these ways in which you can develop anxiety conditions and struggles, one of the key takeaways is it is not your fault.
Why Do I Have Anxiety and Obsessive Thinking and What Can I Do about It Read More »
It can sometimes be unclear whether something is a healthy versus unhealthy coping mechanism for stress. For instance, is distracting oneself from a stressful and overwhelming situation an example of a healthy or unhealthy coping mechanism? In this blog, we will review some of the most notable forms of healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms, as
Knowing the Difference Between Unhealthy and Healthy Coping Mechanisms for Stress Read More »
We are taught that stress is a bad thing, something we must avoid at all costs. We are bombarded with messages like, “Stress causes Cancer”, “Stress impairs the immune response”, and, as a result, we are instructed to strive for a stress-free, peaceful life. The reality of stress, though, is quite different and far more
Understanding How to Harness Short-Term Stress for Your Benefit Read More »
